I’m sure it is quite apparent to the average citizen that it takes a special individual to work for the government – particularly any state licensing department. Certain stringent requirements are a vital necessity in assuring smooth public relations and an honorable public name.

-- First, you must be of above average girth and be capable of consuming at least one dozen glazed doughnuts as a supplement to the typical morning mug of coffee. Albeit, you must maintain the expression associated with the consumption of sour grapes, even whilst in mid bite of your apple fritter.

-- In addition, you must needs present an acceptable level of combativeness. Remember: the customer is never right. It is your responsibility to see that your customer does not become too uppity. If one should presume to request your assistance, curtly inform him that you will serve him when it is his turn. If there is no line, tell the customer that the office is closing for the morning or afternoon, whichever the case may be.

-- You must also be particularly adept at the art of intimidation…whether through words, appearance or any combination thereof. You may need this skill to dislodge stubborn customers who refuse to leave the office when you deem its closure to be necessary. Remember that you know the law -- shoot, for all practical purposes, you are the law.

-- You should also enjoy power trips. Spend time daily scrubbing your authority into the faces of ungrateful underlings. Preferably using steel wool, sandpaper, or some other such abrasive. For example, ask customers to wait outside on the sidewalk while you work with someone inside.

-- Last of all, don't forget to smile -- only at the appropriate times of course.

Yes, this is a horrid stereotype. Don't believe it -- until you see it with your own eyes. Just watch out for the underachieving slackers who refuse to live up to the specifications.   ¶ 11:26 PM